I'm a qualified meditation teacher - and I have the clothes to prove it!
There's a story that the Buddha once gave a sermon simply by holding up a flower.
One chap, Mahakasyappa, smiled his understanding.
Impressed, Buddha conferred upon him "dharma transmission".
Mahakasyappa was thereby the first generation "transmitted" teacher of Zen.
Later, he likewise ordained others, and they were the second generation.
I'm one of the ninety-sixth generation.
You can see the highlights of the family tree here.
Nice story, which may or may not be true.
I don't really do Zen any more.
On balance, I decided to opt for suffering.
Still, in certain circumstances, meditation can be really useful,
so if you'd like to learn how to meditate, please ask.